At your convenience Ma'am
Someone once told me that when travelling you should never pass a public toilet without using it. I guess this is because you can never really be sure when you might find another.
In the United Kingdom we are blessed by many public toilets. If you are out and about in most towns and cities you are never that far from facilities.
However, there may be many that you would like to avoid. This is especially true of the gents. On many occasion I have had cause to use a public convenience and the smell has literally been so overwhelming that the only way I could relieve myself was to hold my breath the entire time.
I've always wondered what happens when someone like the President of the USA visits a town or city. I remember a few years ago Bill Clinton visited the UK and toured around the country. If I recall correctly he stopped at a village pub to have a swift pint of real ale. Now, there is nothing like a pint to bring on the need for a wee. So what happens? Does he just follow the signs and turn up at the local WC or is it more orchestrated, with the Secret Service phoning ahead to a local council, "get the toilets clean because the President will be arriving precisely at 2.51pm to use the suite"? What about the Queen when she is touring the Commonwealth? Does the Queen need to go to the toilet? Does she take a royal toilet with her? Has she ever just had to use the toilets in the local shopping centre, or maybe the visitor centre at Buckingham Palace?
If you weren't aware you can vote for your best Loo in the country, although I don't believe that you can vote for your own, just a public toilet. The winner gets Loo of the Year Award 2012. You can find this at http://www.loo.co.uk/.
Wait. I've just had more of a look at this and this year for the first year you can in fact nominate your home toilet to win the prize Home Throne of the Year. Unfortunately you will have to wait for next year as the application process was completed in August. What a great idea. Maybe nominating a bad toilet might provide enough incentive for the local council to make improvements, surely it's worth a go?
I have actually used the winner of Loo of the Year 2006, the certificate is proudly displayed on the wall above the mirror above the sinks. It's well maintained but not really all that. I really would be expecting something a little more special for the win.
One thing that I am very grateful for is that when I am bursting for a wee especially in a busy place like an airport or shopping centre I am a man. For men have it easy. We can walk straight in stand in a line with other men, unzip and relieve ourselves. Unsaid etiquette demands that you only look straight ahead and down never to the side. Sometimes there are even yellow smelly cleaning blocks to direct the stream at. This helps pass the time and prevents ones gaze from inadvertently looking left or right.
For women these busy places are simply a nightmare. The queues go round the block. Who knows how many toilets there are or the state of them. It appears to be never discussed.
Occasionally a brave woman decides that the queue is not for her. Maybe her desperation not to wet herself determines her next cause of action. She concludes (quite rightly) that there are empty cubicles in the men's and without another thought she walks right in past the lineup of men and uses the facilities. Occasionally this starts a trend. This is girl power. I actually have no issue with it unless I guess I then have to queue for a cubicle. How confident these women are determines whether they wash their hands and stand nonchalantly in the queue for the hand dryer.
Of course travelling to some parts of the world really does give you a perspective of how quite convenient some of our toilets are. The squat toilet is quite a remarkable thing. Some even have footprints in the floor to indicate the best place to stand. Often from the state of them someone earlier definitely hasn't taken notice of the guide. I really don't get how these work without in someway messing your trousers. In China some of these toilets don't even have doors so everyone can watch as you slip and put your hand down in something unpleasant. Hotel and MacDonalds are the places to go to avoid a toilet faux pas.
My advice is that when out and about, especially in places as remote as France, you should always carry toilet paper with you, just for reassurance if nothing else. And hope that when you find that convenience it's not locked.
In the United Kingdom we are blessed by many public toilets. If you are out and about in most towns and cities you are never that far from facilities.
However, there may be many that you would like to avoid. This is especially true of the gents. On many occasion I have had cause to use a public convenience and the smell has literally been so overwhelming that the only way I could relieve myself was to hold my breath the entire time.
I've always wondered what happens when someone like the President of the USA visits a town or city. I remember a few years ago Bill Clinton visited the UK and toured around the country. If I recall correctly he stopped at a village pub to have a swift pint of real ale. Now, there is nothing like a pint to bring on the need for a wee. So what happens? Does he just follow the signs and turn up at the local WC or is it more orchestrated, with the Secret Service phoning ahead to a local council, "get the toilets clean because the President will be arriving precisely at 2.51pm to use the suite"? What about the Queen when she is touring the Commonwealth? Does the Queen need to go to the toilet? Does she take a royal toilet with her? Has she ever just had to use the toilets in the local shopping centre, or maybe the visitor centre at Buckingham Palace?
If you weren't aware you can vote for your best Loo in the country, although I don't believe that you can vote for your own, just a public toilet. The winner gets Loo of the Year Award 2012. You can find this at http://www.loo.co.uk/.
Wait. I've just had more of a look at this and this year for the first year you can in fact nominate your home toilet to win the prize Home Throne of the Year. Unfortunately you will have to wait for next year as the application process was completed in August. What a great idea. Maybe nominating a bad toilet might provide enough incentive for the local council to make improvements, surely it's worth a go?
I have actually used the winner of Loo of the Year 2006, the certificate is proudly displayed on the wall above the mirror above the sinks. It's well maintained but not really all that. I really would be expecting something a little more special for the win.
One thing that I am very grateful for is that when I am bursting for a wee especially in a busy place like an airport or shopping centre I am a man. For men have it easy. We can walk straight in stand in a line with other men, unzip and relieve ourselves. Unsaid etiquette demands that you only look straight ahead and down never to the side. Sometimes there are even yellow smelly cleaning blocks to direct the stream at. This helps pass the time and prevents ones gaze from inadvertently looking left or right.
For women these busy places are simply a nightmare. The queues go round the block. Who knows how many toilets there are or the state of them. It appears to be never discussed.
Occasionally a brave woman decides that the queue is not for her. Maybe her desperation not to wet herself determines her next cause of action. She concludes (quite rightly) that there are empty cubicles in the men's and without another thought she walks right in past the lineup of men and uses the facilities. Occasionally this starts a trend. This is girl power. I actually have no issue with it unless I guess I then have to queue for a cubicle. How confident these women are determines whether they wash their hands and stand nonchalantly in the queue for the hand dryer.
Of course travelling to some parts of the world really does give you a perspective of how quite convenient some of our toilets are. The squat toilet is quite a remarkable thing. Some even have footprints in the floor to indicate the best place to stand. Often from the state of them someone earlier definitely hasn't taken notice of the guide. I really don't get how these work without in someway messing your trousers. In China some of these toilets don't even have doors so everyone can watch as you slip and put your hand down in something unpleasant. Hotel and MacDonalds are the places to go to avoid a toilet faux pas.
My advice is that when out and about, especially in places as remote as France, you should always carry toilet paper with you, just for reassurance if nothing else. And hope that when you find that convenience it's not locked.
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