I don't think Noah would have used one...
The weatherman on the local news suggested that today would be a bright sunny day although cold to begin with. He added that as the day progressed the sky would turn cloudy and eventually during the evening the rain would fall. Then came the final blow once the rain started falling it wouldn't stop for the duration of tomorrow.
A rainy day. Great. Rainy days mean umbrellas.
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I hate umbrellas with a passion. They really get on my nerves. Have you ever walked down a busy street on a wet day? People with umbrellas suddenly demand more space on the pavement. It is as though you are sharing the footpath with a herd of elephants. As you get jostled along the umbrellas poke you in the face or drip large drops of water on to you. Many people put their heads down seemingly using the umbrella as a battering ram to clear a path. God forbid anyone coming the other way. Even if you take emergency avoidance action you can be sure that one of the silver pointy bits will stick you in the eye.
Then there is the sharing of the umbrella with someone. Umbrellas are never quite big enough. When two people are stuck under an umbrella only one person ever really stays dry. The other individual is slightly sidelined, half in and half out often facing the brunt of the monsoon.
I prefer just to walk in the rain.
I truly believe that the umbrella is a poorly designed device which is often unfit for purpose. In my opinion it's main failing becomes evident when the rainstorm is accompanied by the squally wind.
Gale force winds are the umbrellas nemesis. This is when the umbrella struggles. This is when the umbrella becomes a kite, or turns itself inside out. Both scenarios are potential comedy gold moments, leaving the umbrella owner struggling for control and dignity. A constant wind is not so bad but the squall leaves the owner in a lottery situation, trying to second guess which direction the next gust will come from. Invariably it is not long until the inevitable happens.
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Then of course there is the type of umbrella designed for the ladies handbag. This is the spring loaded type which can double for a handy weapon in case defence is needed. Pressing a button on the handle releases the mechanism whereby the umbrella extends to three times its length and opens its rain protecting canvass. With usual use I could almost guarantee that after three months have elapsed the opening of this device will cause the umbrella to part company with the handle, launching into the air and skidding across the ground. God help anyone who gets caught in the crossfire!
I don't use umbrellas, and I'm sure Noah managed to load his Ark with two of each kind of animal without one.
A rainy day. Great. Rainy days mean umbrellas.
I hate umbrellas with a passion. They really get on my nerves. Have you ever walked down a busy street on a wet day? People with umbrellas suddenly demand more space on the pavement. It is as though you are sharing the footpath with a herd of elephants. As you get jostled along the umbrellas poke you in the face or drip large drops of water on to you. Many people put their heads down seemingly using the umbrella as a battering ram to clear a path. God forbid anyone coming the other way. Even if you take emergency avoidance action you can be sure that one of the silver pointy bits will stick you in the eye.
Then there is the sharing of the umbrella with someone. Umbrellas are never quite big enough. When two people are stuck under an umbrella only one person ever really stays dry. The other individual is slightly sidelined, half in and half out often facing the brunt of the monsoon.
I prefer just to walk in the rain.
I truly believe that the umbrella is a poorly designed device which is often unfit for purpose. In my opinion it's main failing becomes evident when the rainstorm is accompanied by the squally wind.
Gale force winds are the umbrellas nemesis. This is when the umbrella struggles. This is when the umbrella becomes a kite, or turns itself inside out. Both scenarios are potential comedy gold moments, leaving the umbrella owner struggling for control and dignity. A constant wind is not so bad but the squall leaves the owner in a lottery situation, trying to second guess which direction the next gust will come from. Invariably it is not long until the inevitable happens.
Then of course there is the type of umbrella designed for the ladies handbag. This is the spring loaded type which can double for a handy weapon in case defence is needed. Pressing a button on the handle releases the mechanism whereby the umbrella extends to three times its length and opens its rain protecting canvass. With usual use I could almost guarantee that after three months have elapsed the opening of this device will cause the umbrella to part company with the handle, launching into the air and skidding across the ground. God help anyone who gets caught in the crossfire!
I don't use umbrellas, and I'm sure Noah managed to load his Ark with two of each kind of animal without one.
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