Ed Vogue's World

Driving in Britain is not always the most enjoyable thing to do. There are now simply too many cars on the road. Most people live within a few miles of a major trunk road and therefore live within a few miles of a potential traffic jam. Today my journey took much longer than it should have done. In fact nearly 3 hours longer!! Ok it is Friday and traffic is always worse on Friday afternoons and evenings but today I think I was pretty unlucky. My journey was blighted by multi car accidents, broken down vehicles, volume of traffic and the odd diversion for county and air shows. Traffic jams on motorways are the most frustrating particularly if the motorway has speed restrictions that are designed to control the traffic. When you see that 40mph sign you know it is time to put on the handbrake. What irritates me about traffic jams is you have to rely on the local traffic news to find out what is going on and how long you might be sitting in if for. These traffic reports rely on...

The great thing about living in Britain is that you are never more than a couple of hours from the coast and the great British seaside. Dotted around the coast are the classic British seaside resorts. Brighton, Weymouth, Blackpool, Clacton to name just a few. These resorts although unique in their own way all have the basic British seaside ingredients listed below in no particular order; A Crazy golf course The Olde Sweete Shoppe At least three Amusement Arcades Numerous ice cream shops Two shops selling kids wetsuits (that will only fit for two weeks) but they always seem like a good idea. A shop that sells fancy goods; fancy goods is another name for a shop that sells tat, jokes, hen party gifts (round the back) and those fleeces that have pictures of wolves baying at the moon. This and those catalogues you get through the door is the only place you can buy these hideous items of clothing. An aquarium, sometimes with a scary owner who looks like the crook from Scooby Doo Fo...

August, last week of the school summer holidays and the weather turns nasty. Torrential rain and temperatures that feel distinctly autumnal. I was out driving today when I encountered the rain band that was sweeping the country. It started mildly enough but the skies darkened and the the heavens opened in such a fury that I half expected to see Noah in a nearby field loading his boat; at least that would explain the recent lion sightings. As the rain fell my wipers were on full and the visibility got worse. All the traffic slowed to a crawl, large puddles appeared that were impossible to avoid and I realised what it must be like for a F1 driver driving a wet race. Obviously there are a number of differences, one I was driving a car with a roof and sides so I personally was not exposed to the weather. My air conditioning was keeping the windscreen from misting up and I wasn't attempting to overtake whilst travelling at up to 180mph. But the water being thrown up by the pet...

If we travelled back in time to when early people first inhabited the caves of Southern France it would not have been unusual for the inhabitants to look out of their abodes and to see a variety of animals living in the valleys and plains surrounding them. These would have included, wolves, cave bears and lions. It must have been quite dangerous times. Fast forward to the present day and here in England the most dangerous wild animals we might expect to see are wasps , the odd adder (although I have never seen one) and maybe an fairly aggressive squirrel. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/73/Lion_waiting_in_Namibia.jpg/250px-Lion_waiting_in_Namibia.jpg So it comes as a bit of a shock to hear that maybe a lion is on the loose somewhere in Essex. The BBC reported that there had been numerous sightings of the lion and I even read that someone had heard loud roaring coming from across a field. The police were on the case confirming that no big cats were missing fro...

Somewhere under the ground supplying my house is a pipe along which travels natural gas. Additionally there is a big cable that is connected to the step down transformer at the end of the street along which mains electricity flows into my house. http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/videos/480x360/118823503176.jpg There are now a large number of energy suppliers that can in some way control the gas and electricity that I use. I say in some way, as I have to pay these companies to supply me with my energy needs. This is where I get a little bit lost... I don't understand how it all works. Let's say I am with one supplier (let's call it Energic). They are supplying me with gas and electricity. Someone from Energic will come round to read my meters, although in reality they will expect me to do that and submit the readings on line. Now, let's imagine that for one reason or another, perhaps a huge increase in cost, I decide to switch suppliers. I find another company, Greener...

When I was a kid I loved Lego. There is something about the simplicity of the instruction manuals that I find so fantastic. My favourite was space Lego. I had a number of different models and spent ages building and playing with them. The most integral Lego kit that I was given was a mobile crane. This was technical Lego that required a detailed manual. It was very intricate and could be turned into the truck and then the crane deployed etc. I remember taking hours to make it and then a few months later dismantling it. During that time my Dad decided to have a clear out, probably during a decorating session. In the clear out the instruction manual was thrown away. I was never able to make the crane again...28 years later he has never been allowed to forget it. My son has an awesome Lego model of the Black Pearl, Capt. Jack Sparrow's pirate ship. We made it together and then a few weeks ago it had to be dismantled. He insisted that I remade it, it took me 90 minutes the ot...

I have to admit I have never really understood the idea of a drive-thru restaurant. I hate eating in my car, it reminds me of cold and wet holidays on the coast where it is too wet to eat the picnic on the beach so it has to be consumed in the car. So if I fancy eating a burger the last thing that I want to do is to drive up to a microphone and repeat my order three times to a person in a booth. Then wait in a queue to arrive at another booth to pick up a bag of food and make my payment. Once my food has arrived what do I do next? Drive home to eat a cold cheeseburger, stodgy chips and a melted milkshake or park up in a designated parking space and eat the meal on my lap resting my drink against the steering wheel? This is where the idea of a drive-thru makes no sense. Firstly what if my order is wrong and I have driven away? Do I drive all the way back to get it rectified? Secondly each of these establishments have a restaurant attached to them, why not just go in and eat in...

The last bank holiday of the summer holiday is upon us and this signifies that the school holidays are finally coming to an end, the leaves are starting to turn brown and that autumn is starting to creep up on us. As is often the case the weather has turned much colder and wetter to spoil any chance of outdoor fun. In fact tomorrow there is a severe weather alert in the region I live for heavy thundery rain which has the potential to cause localised flooding. One of my Facebook friends has already reported putting the heating on, a typical bank holiday in England. http://pannauto.com/storage/small_sales.jpg This August bank holiday brings with a swathe of television advertising. Every other advert appears to be for an end of summer sale, for beds, sofas, electrical appliances and clothes. Of course all of these sales have to end by Monday (that is until the Autumn sale starts on Tuesday). Many people look forward to the bank holiday as an extra day off from work, but spare a thoug...

Last week I blogged about the way that the A level results are reported in the media. How difficult it must be for the students to be told that the exams are easier now than ten years ago and that somehow the exam boards have dumbed down the qualifications. Just imagine how this feels for those students that haven't done very well.  Today I awoke to the news that teachers and teachers leaders had announced in the Times Education Supplement (TES) that the English GCSE exam grade boundaries seem to have changed to make it harder to get a higher grade. If true this means that students this year achieving the same % in the exam as last year could potentially achieve a lower exam grade. This doesn't seem fair to me, not to the students or to the schools who have their own targets to achieve, some of which if missed have grave consequences. I would presume that a certain % would be a certain grade and that would be the same year after year after year. According to the BBC website...

From what I remember of my biology lessons all flora and fauna have an ecological niche. That is an important part to play in the ecosystem; a role that if they were not there to fulfil would result in a negative impact on the rest of the food web. There are however, some living things that you have to really think hard about to consider the useful part that they play. These are the organisms that are classified as pests. The pesky creatures, who at first glance, seem only to exist on planet Earth to annoy the human population. http://www.copyright-free-pictures.org.uk/insects/common-wasp.jpg One of these pests is Vespula vulgaris , the common wasp. It is a remarkable creature with its striking and instantly recognisable yellow and black colouring. It has a remarkable ability to seek out any human activity that involves sugary and sweet tasting foods. Prime examples being summer picnics or the purchase and consumption of Mr Whippy ice creams. As soon as these activities have star...

I'm writing my blog entry today whilst sitting on a bank overlooking a big depression in the ground. This hole has the rather gruesome and intriguing name, Bloody Hollow. It is located in the grounds of one of Britain's important historic buildings, the Tudor palace, Hatfield House. It was here that on November 17th 1558, the princess Elizabeth whilst sitting under an oak tree in the park, either eating an apple or reading a book, learnt that she was to be Queen of England. I bet that was quite a day! When I was young visiting a historic building like a palace or castle involved a pricey guidebook, maybe a Walkman with a pre recorded tape and guides that were invariably over 65 and looked accusingly at anyone that might stand too close to a rope. Nowadays things are very different. The tourist market has had a influence as has the escalating price of maintaining these attractions. Family attraction is now the buzz phrase; a great day out for all the family. Bloody ho...

I can't say that the dentist is one of my favourite places. I understand that dentists are generally nice enough people and obviously have a job to do, it's not the dentists themselves that I have a problem with its just going to the dentist. To be honest I have never really had to worry too much about the dentist. When I was a kid I needed a small filling in one of my milk teeth but it was nothing much and if I remember the tooth fell out pretty soon after. I didn't need any other work and my wisdom teeth, although sometimes emerge and are a tiny bit painful have not resulted in any dentist ever suggesting that they might need removing. It's just that I have not always trusted the dentist. They look at your teeth and then say things like, you have a whole coming there...you will need to watch it. It might be better if I fill it now, would you like a white filling, that will be £800. Or I can do a temporary filling now and can you come back next week and I will ...

Alcohol, ethanol or C2H5OH is just one of life's little pleasures. Produced by the fermentation of sugars by microorganisms such as Sacchromyces it has helped to lubricate all human emotions since our prehistoric ancestors stored fruit in the autumn for the winter. https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVYCqpUKs9H-9fC9Kecur6EG4v-jIlXnkPx__TrF-p2EwrZzER6D4Ae_sukuW9gt5KrKVm_f9CNkB7RG0w4k4RMRPeJCRHDIKmVrtBOTECKhsaVxLufzr58RKU5e8-pq5g5y4_SlGygpE/s1600/Ethanol2.gif The fruit would have contained on its surface natural yeasts that helped to convert the fruit sugars into ethanol so on eating the stored fruit the cave people would have experienced a slight intoxicating effect. Probably leading to an interesting night of singing, playing spin the spear and grunting at each other I love you. Over human history the techniques for fermentation and brewing were perfected, leaving a legacy of literally hundreds of alcoholic beverages. http://scienceprogressaction.org/inter...

I took my two kids out on their bikes to explore the woods. My eldest is a girl and my youngest a boy. They are 9 and 5 respectively. We hadn't been in these woods before so we were not sure what we would encounter. Both were up for the challenge; to boldly go where no Vogue had gone before.  We saddled up and with health and safety in mind donned our cycle helmets and headed into the woods...   Our first obstacle was a narrow path lined with brambles and nettles. I led the way trying to clear a path for the other two to follow. Once through the path opened up into a large bridle way. This would have been fine but for the sharp incline. I ignored the protests and cycled onwards. When I reached the brow of the hill I shouted encouragement back and watched as they struggled up the path. Once they reached me we had a choice, left up another hill and onwards to further adventure or right down the hill and returning home.   My daughter had already, after 15 minutes, ...

After the excitement and the ups and downs of the last couple of days I felt the need to chill out and bake some delicious treats for me and the family. The kids decided that they wanted some pinwheels for lunch. Apparently a pinwheel is a rolled up piece of pastry with various fillings. They are pretty easy to make as well. Just take a piece of pastry about 25cm by 20cm and cover with tomato purée. Then place another piece on top and cover with pesto and grated cheese. Roll up into a Swiss roll, egg wash and chill before cutting into 1cm slices. Then bake in a medium hot oven for 20 mins. They were delicious and the kids loved them. Whilst the pinwheels were chilling and cooking I started on the next delicious delight. Mars Bar ice cream. Strictly not a bake but still. This is one of those very bad treats that has way too much fat, probably your whole recommended daily allowance in just one teaspoon. This requires four Mars Bars, roughly chopped and melted gently in 250ml of...

1990 was the year that I received my A-level results. I remember that on that particular Thursday I was at cub camp. Now I know that you are now thinking that I must have been some sort of child genius sitting my Advanced Level examinations whilst still wearing a woggle, shorts and long grey socks with elasticated tags on them; I don't recall what those were called... But no I was not a genius, I was on cub camp as a leader. I can't quite recall all the things that we did as cub leaders on camp but I'm sure that making cocoa and playing in the woods was involved. http://www.scouting.milestones.btinternet.co.uk/woodbadgeimages/gilwoggle2.gif So that exam results day would have found me waking in a sleeping bag, helping to make a cooked breakfast for 20 youngsters and then driving to school to collect my results. It was a stressful time. Success meant going to the university of choice, failure meant going to a polytechnic. I needed a B and two C's to get into my chos...

Speed, I feel the need for speed. http://axeetech.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/speed_limit-axeetech.jpg In our modern world we can't wait for things to happen, well I can't anyway. When I have made up my mind that I want something I don't want to wait for the post, or an engineer or some annoying order process where the item will take 6 weeks to be completed.   On moving home we needed a new telephone line to be installed. Various companies that relied on the national provider for lines were unable to give me an indication of when an engineer could come and install the line, although it was likely that it would be at least 3 weeks. One company were able to give a date; 7th September! http://www.ikea.com/us/en/images/products/pugg-wall-clock__13080_PE040801_S4.jpg Ok, I could do without the telephone for three weeks, but not the Internet, how would I be able to blog my musings...? So I contacted the cable company and spoke to a very nice gentleman who was slightly apolo...

According to Wikipedia, Pandora was the first woman described in ancient mythology. She was made out of clay. The gods helped to create her by each giving her gifts. Pandora is said to have opened a jar 'the Pandora's box'. Upon doing do she released all the evils of the world leaving hope inside. I have been surrounded by boxes this afternoon and evening. They are somewhat helpfully marked with words such as lounge and kitchen. Unfortunately not all the boxes are correctly labelled or in the right place. I spent 40 minutes looking for the Sky box and still can't find the bottle opener. Opening the boxes has not yet released the evils of mankind although I did find a pair of my daughters rank socks. I still plan to hide in one of the boxes. It could be a great game... I still hope to find the speakers for the living room. I might try in the garage tomorrow night.

The removal men came today to pack up all our worldly possessions. They arrived early in the morning and as tradition dictates I put on the kettle and made a brew. Now these guys are removal men, not builders so although they preferred their tea strong none of them wanted sugar. The chocolate digestives were a good buy though and helped smooth customer relations. I wasn't really sure of my role in the day. The guys were tasked with packing and after their early cuppa they disappeared into different rooms and started to wrap and pack. I decided to retire to the garden and empty the shed. Not the nicest job as I sorted through spiders webs and old garden toys. I had the sense that I could smell rodent urine on everything but I later discovered that it was a bottle of cat deterrent that had spilt all over the bottom of the shed (come to think of it that would have been better for the mice). I returned inside to find boxes and some emptied kitchen cupboards, but the removal men w...

Lofts; dusty, warm and humid places, and today not my favourite place at all. In my childhood I quite liked going up in the loft. In my parents house the loft was a big space. It was always a bit of a lottery getting in and out. The loft hatch had to pushed up against to release the catch. There was always the chance that the hatch would slip and swing down accelerating due to the force of gravity connecting with your forehead. Luckily this never came to pass to me, although I have a slight (maybe false) memory o his happening to my brother. In that particular loft there was a young boys dream; a large train set, with electronic points. I spent quite a lot of time up there playing with that train set. It's still up there. On a recent visit to my parents house I ventured upstairs to take a look. Of course it doesn't work now...the track is covered with dead flies, dust and spider webs. Makes a difference to leaves on the line. I still instinctively ducked as I closed ...

A few years ago I used to run quite a bit. Only 5km and 10km but I ran every other day. In the dark, early morning, early evening. Once I got into this running it was quite an exhilarating thing to do and the endorphins that are released when exercising really is addictive. I recall feeling quite grumpy when I didn't get out to exercise. One particularly snowy and icy day I even ran 5000m on the spot in front of the Wii. I kinda fell out of running and am now once again fairly unfit. It's tough to get started again. I am not the type of person that maintains stamina so this is quickly lost and I probably couldn't run 500m without having to stop, sit and rest on a park bench. Tonight though there is some inspiration from Mr Mohammed Farah, surely soon to be Sir Mo Farah. What an athlete. Under a huge amount of pressure he did the double, winning gold in the 5000m to join his gold from last Saturday in the 10000. How exciting, I was literally shouting at the TV scree...

Occasionally I have trouble getting to sleep. Last night was one of those nights. I went to bed at my normal time and as usual read a little but then I found it really difficult to drop off. It was a hot, humid, still night and this wasn't helping my cause. I couldn't get comfortable, having one leg hanging out of the bed trying to keep cool. I have a sleep position. A position were I feel most comfortable. This is lying on my right side with my head resting on the crook of my arm. Normally as soon as I turn off the light and get into this position I instantly fall asleep. But not last night. https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNP2LTh5WHAiK-xPZ1ASeTTnpcPItQMmz_KVmmadbE2MKr8jNAWVy1EDV577rOAAqQ52DO7UTwKj6zV-1zaJt0h9XjkUIhcQn8SwUAz2tYrwflVd7LP6SdbNyfa5M2PScCCkbkMcfn_T0J/s1600/insomnia.jpg I had itchy legs and every few minutes found I had to change position. At sometime after midnight I decided to get up and went downstairs to watch some TV. I end...

My tap is still dripping...in fact it's dripping much faster than it was. It now drips at a rate of one drip per second and I am getting concerned for the effect that it might be having on the environment.  I received the spare part from the company a few weeks ago. It even came with instructions to explain how it should be fixed, however, my DIY skills have never been very good. I would not rate DIY as one of my skill sets. But this job should be easy, no more difficult than changing a car headlight. The issue is that the tap handle should just pull off, but in doing this I am worried that I will just break the tap.   So today I tried to employ a plumber for the job, the charges are extortionate. One plumber reckoned it would cost me 120 quid; for what should be the simple replacement of a sealed washer unit, remember I already have the spare part!!   Well, stuff that, I decided to have a go. I pulled the handle hard and it came off just as illustrated in the instru...

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago Flying Ant Day is one of my favourite days...and today is that day. This afternoon I walked into the conservatory to be greeted with a sight not unlike scenes from Independence Day. There was quite literally an invasion taking place as a considerable number of flying ants had taken their stand, claiming my conservatory as their own. Now, this did not concern me greatly as unlike the aliens in Independence Day they did not have a mother ship covered in shields impervious to all weapons known to mankind; moreover it is a foe that I have faced many a time and have I always been victorious. To tell the truth though I was a little vexed. Due to the local farmers choosing this day (flying ant day) to apply muck to their fields we had closed the windows in the conservatory. This was to prevent the sickly sweet smell of silage from permeating the house. This meant that those pesky ants could not have migrated from the garden. My conclusion; their nest w...